my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
