We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
