Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
