too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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