why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have tasted many bathrooms
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
