Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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