Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
