i was born a porn star she said
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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