I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
