My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
