I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Congratulations! We have a period
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
