I must be too annoying 4 u.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
