I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
