did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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