Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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