Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
