Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
