im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
