im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
