Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
