I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
