Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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