Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He? As in you personified your dick?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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