I got chris browned last night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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