i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
