Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
