no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
