Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
