I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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