I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
