Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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