you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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