You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
