Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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