I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
