Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
