So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
