Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize