Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
