someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
