whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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