I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
