My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
