i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
handjob tips. give me some.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Sober January is a disaster.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
