y did u give ur computer a hand job?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
