there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
