i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
