you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
