New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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