we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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