His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
